"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
