found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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