At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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