where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
