I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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