Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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