Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
