just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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