names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
