Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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