I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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