a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
