3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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