Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
