I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
