The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
