did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
