I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
