he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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