I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
