New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
