Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
