I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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