i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I have demons in me.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Randomize
