MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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