...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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