i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
