This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
