k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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