he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
