You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
