so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
