Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
