Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
operation have a gay friend backfired
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
