Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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