yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Drunk is not a location!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
