She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
