He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
pop tarts are not kleenex
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize
