yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
