think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
