the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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