Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
