the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
