I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
