everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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