Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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