I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
