It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
