i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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