I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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