escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
